Monday, 6 June 2016

The Baroness’s Bump on the Head

By THL Ulvar van der Nederlanden
Sometimes when you hear a story you wonder the truth of it. Many a person will retell a tale with their own variation on the facts. I am here to set the record straight. I have a story and can state that this is the truth as I was the Baronial Herald and it was my job to record important information. To insure that those who needed to know would have the information, I would be the one to investigate and to insure I had all the information those that needed to know knew.

Long ago there was a Flaming Jewel within the Lands of Septentria. So great was her passion and skill that she was a fighting Baroness in these lands. She commanded the troops of Septentria with a devious smile that those who beheld her vision knew she was up to something. But whatever that something might be would be enjoyed and most entertaining. Especially to her.

While down south in the debatable lands there was Pennsic War. The Baroness had gathered her troops and marched down to join in to the fray. She brought with her, easily half of Ealdormere’s army that year with nearly three dozen fighters and two dozen archers.

The Septentrian fighters would protect their Baroness with such zeal that she took pleasure to command them from the field.

But on one dreadful day a polearm was lucky enough to fell this mighty Baroness.

We Suck!: Thuligan Archery

By THL Ulvar van der Nederlanden

Once upon a time long ago there was a group of archers that were just starting out. They were all from the same canton. The Canton of Petrea Thule. These Thuligans (as that is what they called themselves) had various levels of archery experience but decided collectively to try and work and practice to get better at it.

But early in their efforts they came up with a Motto that has lasted to this day. The Motto was “We Suck!” You see they were not very good at the time.

Now at this time you have to understand that Ealdormere was still a Principality within the Middle Kingdom. And so we had a Prince and Princess who governed the lands for their Majesties.

These archers continue to practice and learn and improve. And they continued doing this regularly. They found locations to practice and have regular practices to continue to improve.

Their names grew to become noted archers within Ealdormere. Szepesy, Danarian, Dafydd, Malachai, Ulvar and Gottfried eventually became really good at Archery. Most of them have represented Ealdormere at the Archer Champions battles at Pennsic. Collectively, I believe, they have been on the champion’s team over 30 times.

But there was one event where their Motto was brought into question. In Southern Ealdormere in the Lands of the Barony of Rising Waters an event was held. And an Archery tournament was run that day. Between these fine archers they won every part of the tournament. They had done very well that day.

During court each of the winners were invited into court to receive their prize from Prince Cordigan and Princess Diane. His Highness was very well acquainted with this group as he was friends with the Thuligans. After receiving their prizes His Highness informed his herald that he had something to say to the Populous. He asked the members of the Petra Thule archery corps to stand up where they sat. We did. He then asked us to say our motto loudly so the populous could hear it. After a few shoulder shrugs and heads nodding. We spoke loudly and said our motto. “We Suck!”

At this point Prince Cordigan spoke to the populous and said “These are your archer champions of the day!”

Then he spoke more directly to the Petrea Thule Archery Corps. “I think you need to change your motto!”

Since that day the motto has changed. It is now “We Suck! Just not as much!”

As always the best stories are completely true. If you are ever on an archery line and hear someone say “We Suck!” You may have just heard from a Thuligan. Once a Thuligan, Always a Thuligan.